I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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