I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
