yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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