He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
