Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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