Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
