Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
