The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
