Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
