im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
