3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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