yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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