He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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