i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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