my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
