Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
