butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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