I met the friendliest cop last night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
