Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
