we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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