You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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