dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My pussy is not your playground.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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