Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
