We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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