So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize