the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
