I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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