Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
