Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
