I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
