We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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