so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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