I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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