I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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