I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
