i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
