This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
