i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
