I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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