Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
