Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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