"it" just moved
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
