i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
