24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
