i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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