I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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