mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
