at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
