Who wears a wallet chain?!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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