I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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