So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Found the puke drawer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
