thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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