We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
