You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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