I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
