Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dicks are not precious.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
