Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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