Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
