There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
